Thursday, February 16, 2017

A Very Austen Valentine's: Pride and Prejudice

Apologies in advance for making a post about Pride and Prejudice and avoiding the formidable Mr Darcy for much of it.


You can look up socially awkward Mr Darcy screenshots and you'll have a pretty good idea of what I think of him as a character. I like him, but I'm not particularly fascinated by him (maybe because I relate to him a little much idk...)


The biggest thing that separates Mr Darcy from the Average Joe is that Mr Darcy's got money and he's soooooo into you (that's a hypothetical you, assuming "you" are a certain Bennet sister).


Pride and Prejudice is mostly about the Bennet family. The main dilemma of the story is that because all of the Bennet's kids are girls, whoever of the daughters is unmarried at Dad-Bennet's death will be completely destitute.

In the story, Dad-Bennet is not eminently sick. He's not even of a sickly constitution, so it's not like a race against time or anything; we're not expecting him to die during the book (though I personally think that would be a facinating aspect to explore so all you fanfic writers should get on it!).

To modern readers (ie. me) this whole scenario seems contrived, and throughout the story we even meet women who have inherited their parent's estate (Mr Darcy's Aunt even talks about it). In the book though, I feel like Ms Austen really invites you to explore the characters and find what actually created this whole situation:


Mr and Mrs Bennet 



Mom-Bennet reads like a standard textbook hypochondriac until you realize that in the society she lives in (where women's options for work, commerce and livelihood are extremely limited) those concerns are actually completely valid.

Dad-Bennet reads like a really laid back, laissez faire style parent. The cool dad who trolls his wife practically every time they talk to each other. But actually the way Austen explains it it seems more like he's overwhelmed with his failures in life. Like, he married this pretty girl and assumed it would work out; they're still married but they ended up having such drastically different temperaments that the only way he know how to talk to her is by trolling.

And all the while, as his kids were growing up, he had the chance to fix the inheritance problem and he knew it...but he didn't because it would have required effort, and he thought "Oh, We'll just have another kid and this time it'll be a boy and he can take care of it." 

So while I find it amusing that he can sit there and troll everyone, I also recognize that he's the low-key instigator and aggravator of most of the Bennet-Kid's problems.


This is actually where most of the intrigue of the story is for me.

It starts out seeming like a comedy of manners and then you get to the human-intrigue side: The harried and overbearing mom, the laid-back and seemingly disinterested dad, the couple who doesn't know how to communicate, and their kids who are caught in the middle of it all...

They could have lived in the regency era, 200 years ago, or it could be happening right now.

[Do you know a Mr Bennet? Do you know a Mrs Bennet? How/do they make their relationship work?]


Here's the first bit of Jane Austen's relationship advice for you married people:

Your personality differences will not just go away, and you can't expect your partner to change just because you're married.


and

No, Having Another Child Will Not Fix Anything. 


Jane and Charles




Because they grew up watching their parent's dysfunctional relationship, the two older Bennet siblings are a bit more cautious about the way they approach courtship and matrimony. They know it's not all about money, and it's not all about how you feel when you're around a guy. You also have to be compatible with each other on a personality level to make it work.

Jane is the oldest Bennet sister and she's super pretty and kind...



 (Like the human incarnation of Fluttershy)

but she's painfully shy.  When she was younger she had guys flocking to her, but she didn't know how to respond.(It's almost like kid's and she needed to learn about themselves and get to know what they like in a partner before making a lifelong commitment but idk..)

 Now she's 22, and through a bit of haggling on her mother's part, she meets the hot new neighbor: Charles Bingley.

They meet at a party and they hit it off really well. They enjoy being around each other; talking and dancing, and it looks like a sweet little relationship is budding. They haven't been outwardly affectionate (like, touched hands without gloves on or anything) they haven't told each other about their feelings or anything yet (Jane's too shy for that!).

They're just at the tender, early phase of a relationship where (in Austen's vernacular) an acquaintance is starting to become an attachment: They enjoy being together, so if they happen to be in the same general area, they seek each other out.

In one chapter, Jane's sister Elizabeth and their friend Charlotte Lucas watch the couple together and talk about how it's so nice that it is that Jane's finally found a special somepony, and Charlotte gives some elderly-sister type advice:


`It is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded (shy). If a woman conceals her affection [...] she may lose the opportunity of fixing him. [...]  there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better shew more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on.''

Elizabeth, understandably, thinks this this is a bit weird because Jane only met the guy two weeks ago and...



And then Charlotte drops this bombshell (seriously, Charlotte's got the best lines in the whole book):


"Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. [Even] if the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other, or ever so similar before-hand." 

Basically Charlotte goes on to say that it doesn't matter how long two people date, because (in Regency society) whenever they talk to each other, it will be in public. She could study him a year and still not know him on the inside because she's never been with him when he was alone. And even if she somehow did get to know him that intimately before marriage, it still wouldn't guarantee that he won't change over time once you get married.

"Couples always contrive to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.''

At this point Elizabeth just assumes Charlotte's being sarcastic 

(***Spoiler alert: She's not****) 

and says:

``You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself.''


(Au contraire!)


As time goes on, Jane and Charles get closer and closer and it seems like things are finally starting to get serious. And then Charles moves away suddenly...Now, Jane and Charlie were never officially together, they were just hanging out whenever they could, but Jane still feels all sad and guilty...like she's done something wrong, because feelings...

And she confides in her sister Elizabeth:

Jane: Did I do something wrong? 

Elizabeth: No! You're friggin' awesome

Jane: Did he not like me?

Elizabeth: No, he was totally into you.

Jane: Did I not make it clear that I like him?

Elizabeth:...maybe.


This is the part where I really love Jane. Like, she's super shy and not demonstrative at all. And she's a woman in a society where girls can't even ask guys to dance...but she cares enough about this guy that she's gonna track him down, go to his house and make sure there's no misunderstandings between them. That her intentions were clear and that she low-key really liked him.

Unfortunately, a lot of the Jane and Charles relationship turbulence is left to our imagination. We have Jane recounting what happened when she visited Bingley's apartment in London, and of course we have Darcy's account of why Bingley left in the first place, but it's all very generic information. Jane is kind of a closed person, she keeps a lot of things private, and Darcy (while honest) is prideful: he presents information in a way that's gonna reflect on him in the best light possible.

But we don't know exactly how things went down, but when I imagine it in my head it goes like this:

Charles BFFs (including his sister Caroline, and Mr Darcy) notice he's going crazy about this new girl and decide to stage an intervention...


(^^Charles is in the Hercules Role, Darcy is Philoctetes. 
Only in the end, Darcy convinces him the object of his
 affection doesn't love him back)

(Charles: "The point is I LOVE her!" 

Darcy: "She don't love you!"<<< It's just way more dramatic than anything we get in the story, but it's AWESOME *squeee*)



Weirdly enough, one of the things I really like about this ship is how fragile it is at the start. Like, I think that's how most people fall in love:

People like to pretend that love is this powerful force that controls our lives but really we choose who we decide to give our hearts to. And our life choices are influenced by a lot of things, most of which are actually pretty practical and mundane and not romantic at all. 



(^^Another of Jane Austen's Life Lessons FYI)




I mentioned earlier Charlotte Lucas' Unsolicited Relationship Advice (see the blue text above). And if you're like me, it sounds like complete bogus, but actually Charlotte gets to put it in practice with her man....

Charlotte and Mr Collins






Mr William Collins is Elizabeth and Jane Bennet's obscure relative who's going to inherit their dad's estate when he dies.

I like to think that if Ms. Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice today, she'd treat him with a little more generosity, because she really doesn't mince words about this poor guy. 

Don't get me wrong: he is a pretty deliciously conceited dude, but a lot of the fun poked at him is because of what we would probably call a developmental disability today:

"Not a sensible man" "Deficiency of nature...little assisted by education or society...weak head."

A lot of film depictions show him as a late-thirties, early forties looking dude. But really he wasn't that much older than Jane in the story. So, he's still a young man who's spent most of his life "under the guidance of an illiterate and miserly father [...] the subjection in which his father had brought him up had given him originally a great humility of manner."

(^^But it's clear she doesn't mean real humility. The way she uses it sounds more like he was acutely self-consciousness, to the point of being socially inhibited.)

who went to school and even got a degree, "without forming [...] any useful acquaintance"

He's only successful in life because by pure luck: He got a job as a parson just by kissing-up to the right person at the right time, and he just happens to be the the only male heir in the Bennet clan. 

But actually, even that makes him feel guilty! (Seriously, this is another Austen character Fanfic writers could write their own novel about).

And it's partly this guilt (as well as his Employers insistence that he find a wife and get married) that he decides to pay a visit to his future estate. He decides he can marry one of the girls who's inheritance he is robbing, so he won't have to feel too bad about it.

Kind of a "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" kind of thing. The problem is, he marches in to their home and treats them like he's god's gift to Longbourn, and expects that all the Bennet sisters will be clambering to marry him


(***SPOILER ALERT***: He is incorrect...)

So, after getting rejected, Mr Collins is a sobbing mess. He went in to this situation with (what he thought were) altruistic motives: duty, honor etc. (it's all he really talks about when he proposes to Lizzie) but by his behavior, it seems more like he's just really lonely. He wants to be in love, so he'll imagine himself in love with anyone who pays him attention.

(Except Mary Bennet, the only one who would have actually taken him)

So as Mr Collins is dealing with this heartbreak, obviously no one wants to leave him alone in case he does something stupid...but no one really wants to be around him either. Fortunately the Lucus family comes over to visit and it's a great detraction for everyone...esspecially Collins because he meets Charlotte.

Charlotte Lucas recognizes this as the opportunity of a lifetime. At twenty-seven years old, she's the only Austen heroine (albiet a secondary one) who is older than her romantic counterpart. She puts in to practice the philosophy she prescribed for Jane Bennet:

"In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better shew more affection than she feels. [If she is to secure a man.]"

So gives him a shoulder to cry on, and bees all super sympathetic to his problems, probably listens to his whole life story...

(I like to think that this is a blessing for Charlotte. I mean, she's the one who said you could study a man a year and still not know what makes him tick, and here Mr Collins spills it all out for her. Charlotte knows exactly what she's getting herself into before she says yes.)

I didn't initially think much of their whole proposal scene: Where Mr Collins "Escape[d] out of Longbourn House the next morning with admirable slyness, and hasten to Lucas Lodge to throw himself at her feet. [...] Miss Lucas perceived him from an upper window as he walked towards the house, and instantly set out to meet him accidentally in the lane. But little had she dared to hope that so much love and eloquence awaited her there."

But then I realized it sounds a lot like this:



Despite all the romantic theatrics, Austen never puts us under the illusion that these two have a genuine romance connection:

"Miss Lucas, who accepted him solely from the pure and disinterested desire of an establishment, cared not how soon that establishment were gained."

"She had gained her point, and had time to consider of it."


"Her reflections were in general satisfactory: Mr. Collins to be sure was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still, he would be her husband." 

"Without thinking highly either of men or of matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want. This preservative she had now obtained; and at the age of twenty-seven, without having ever been handsome, she felt all the good luck of it."

A lot of modern readers find this situation a bit sad. The interesting thing to me is that Charlotte doesn't see it that way at all. For her, happiness in marriage may be "entirely a matter of chance" but happiness outside of marriage is no happiness at all...this is her chance at happiness and she took it. 

Later on, after Lizzie gets over the shock of her best friend marrying a guy she can't stand, Lizzie goes to their house and all though the first bit of their visit she's watching for some sign from Charlotte that she's unhappy in what she's chosen: to gawk at him when he says something stupid. or roll her eyes in second-hand embarrassment, or shirk way from her obviously repulsive spouse when he touches her. But she never does, because despite their differences Charlotte and Mr Collins have a true partnership: they respect each other, they support each other, and they seem pretty happy with their lives. 

Which brings us to our last Jane Austen Life Lesson:

The things that will make you happy are not always what would make another person happy. 


Choose What Makes You Happy


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