Believe it or not, LOST is an educational program. At the Michael Emerson Fan Board, a number of fans came up with all the great things that they had learned just by watching LOST. Here they are for your educational information:
1. That there is such a thing as a smoke monster that takes photos of your mind.
2. More people are named after philosophers who are hundreds of years old than you'd think.
3. Bald guys strolling out of the jungle can make all your dreams come true.
4. To Never pick up dolls lying on the forest floor.
5. Ernest Hemingway was jealous of Fyodor Dostoevsky.
6. Pacemakers can make your heart blow up.
7. You turn incredibly evil the minute you become a father.
8. Listen to the voice in your gut. DO NOT DRINK THE ORANGE JUICE.
9. You can resuscitate a near-dead person by banging on their chest really hard.
10. If your father starts torturing your boyfriend, it's probably because he doesn't want the two of you to have sex.
11. Polar bears apparently can survive a tropical climate.
12. Hot air balloons are kept aloft by 550,000 cubic feet of helium and 100,000 feet of hot air.
13. What a fuselage is.
14. What you call those tubes where you put something in and it shoots it up (pneumatic).
15. What a pylon is.
16. The ocean won't take my gold card.
17. If you use electricity, you're cheating.
18. That warm beers taste good too.
19. That you can watch a TV show frame by frame.
20. Nadia Comaneci was the greatest athlete that ever lived.
21. Hamsters are an underutilized resource as generators.
22. Backgammon is the one of the oldest games on earth.
23. Eucalyptus can stave off an asthma attack.
24. Imaginary peanut butter is the best bloody peanut butter in the world.
25. Moths are more interesting than butterflies.
26. That only fools are enslaved by time and space, apparently.
27. That people get excited about going camping even when they live on a beach and are camping.
28. Don't listen to Jack, even if he represents Reason.
29. Screaming, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" never solved anything.
30. If you suspect someone, check to see if they have four toes.
31. If you implement a code-word system, make sure you have one for 'there's a man in my closet holding a gun to my daughter's head'.
32. Being born early gives you the power to overthrow an entire scientific organization in one day.
33. When torturing someone, ask yourself: "Do I feel guilty about doing this?" If not, the person is lying.
34. Apollo bars are good sources of nutrition that should be handed to children to eat at will.
35. After you see someone commit murder, maybe it's not the best idea to come in screaming his name so you can be a sitting duck. Right Libby?
36. If you meet a doctor with tattoos and think there might be an interesting story behind them, think again.
37. If you are elected leader of a group, cry a lot and when someone makes a suggestion, say some variation of “we’re done.” People love that.
38. Insurance companies don’t like people who can’t actually walk on walkabouts.
39. If somebody steals your kidney, you don't have to feel bad about saying "no" the next time they ask for a favor.
40. It takes exactly one hour to bleed out if your kidney sack is cut open. Anything less than an hour and you'll be just fine.
41. If you're not on the list, you wouldn't understand, so don't bother asking.
42. In interpersonal communication, it is perfectly OK to answer someone's important question with silence and a blank stare. This always gets the message across. If, for some reason, they're feeling a bit feisty, say something like, "It's... complicated," or make fun of them for asking you in the first place.
43. If you ever have pain in your lower back, assume the worst. And then BE THE NICEST YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE to the first spinal surgeon you meet.
44. If a psychologist tells you that something will be freeing for you, whatever it is, do it. Even if it means ruining an entire stash of food other stranded people might like to eat.
45. Steam opens up your pores. (Supposedly.)
46. If you think one gun and one bullet is going to stop them … think again.
47. If you need surgery, don't ask the doctor to do it for you. Plan a way to meet him or her in the middle of nowhere (make sure s/he brings some friends along), incapacitate the doctor with a tazer gun, put a potato sack on his or her head, lock the doctor up in an aquarium tank made for sharks and dolphins, torture the hell out of the doctor, and only when the doctor finally wants to do the surgery, you go ahead and accept. (This procedure makes HMOs look really good.)
48. Listening to Korean ghost stories in Korean is very funny.
49. Don't give anyone your kidney without asking questions first.
50. That guy who's a complete jerk to everyone is actually a tortured soul. You just need to waste your time and energy on him first.
51. If you thought someone was an evil ass before, just wait till you see him when he thinks he's in Hell.
52. If you're sleeping with a girl your boss likes, maybe you should be more suspicious when he sends you to infiltrate a group of plane tail section survivors.
53. having a southerner kill your father, or you’re the US marshall in charge of your arrest, will solve all you problems for one whole season.
54. Blood is easily obtainable by just jabbing someone in the arm. You don't have to find a vein
55. Small propeller planes can fly from Africa to the middle of the Pacific Ocean without refueling.
56. Tattoos are important symbol of your leadership.
57. Getting pounded in the chest for 5 whole minutes brings you back to life.
58. That you can live off of fish and seafood for a month and not get diarrhea.
59. That you can tramp around in a tropical jungle and still wear pants an NEVER complain about how hot it is.
60. That you can drink stagnant water and not get sick.
61. Some anesthesias are administered to the sternum with a really long needle.
62. If you want people to think you have a really good plan, make them all hike into the jungle and then blow up a tree.
63. Nothing can take your mind off the woman you've searched for for years than a spoiled blond white girl.
64. Some people get offended when you never make soup for them.
65. Pay attention to dogs when they pull sheets off of 'dead' people.
66. If you have a tumor on your back you can still go on long hikes, be tortured, and beat people up.
67. Incest is alright.
68. REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS.
69. And, of course, if you're an actor on a high-profile show, NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE
Friday, September 12, 2008
A Bad Day
Okay,
Today was a very annoyng day. First I had a doctor's appointment. Which went fine (i guess) then I thought we (me and a few of my syblings) would have a fun time going to disneyland. problem was, every time I tried to do something I thought was fun, My older brother and sister went kind of crazy. And I'm thinkin' "gee, maybe disneland wasn't the best place to go for their kind of fun."
So we went on a few rides and to the innoventions center where we looked at some pretty interesting technology stuff. But after a while I got separated from them and my cell phone battery went dead. After walking around a couple of times, looking for my siblings, I thought I'd go to the exit to see if I could find them. I couldn't.
So I felt very stranded, I went to a payphone and made a call to my parent's house to ask if they could call my sister's cell to find out where she was. I paid 1.55 for the call and 1.99 for using my debit card, ghads!! So I start taking on the answering machine and NO ONE ANSWERES!!!
SHIT
"Come on guy's I only got three minutes for this call."
It' doesn't work
So I make ANOTHER call
Bear in mind, I have no idea where my siblings are. For all I know I will be sitting by the innoventions exit till the park closes and I have to ask a cast member to "help my find my family" >:(
This time I call my mother's cell phone, and as I dial, I remember that she is working tonight
SHIT
Remarkably she answeres the phone
I start talking
She doesn't respond...She can't even hear what I'm saying!!!!
After repeating "hello, Is anyone there?" a few times, she hangs up. Not knowing that I am practicly screaming "YES MOM IT'S ME I CAN HEAR YOU. PLEEEASSSSSE" But to no avail
I'm despret now, I am not going to spend my time at disneyland next to a payphone.
So I try a different payphone and call mom again.
FINALY we are able to talk. I tell her my predicament and she helps.
Well, I'm glad that's over. Except, It isn't over. I still have to wait to see IF my siblings show up to collect me. I see them comming down from the innoventions center door. They were in there the whole time!!! Where the heck were they??
So I'm guessing they were pretty annoyed with me or else weren't paying attention because my two older siblings bearly even looked at me and didn't talk to me.
WHAT the freakn' heck is wrong with them? Why are they acting like MINDLESS ZOMBIES today??
We eventally went to see the parade, which turned out to be fun. Sarah and I got some candy from the store and we got to eat some (well sarah did, I wated till I got home)
As we left disneyland, my older sister reminds me and my little sister to bequiet around other people. thanx mom
What it's not like were trying to have fun or anything. Please, I have to work tomorrow, can't I have a day off to do something wild and crazy?? No, I guess not.
Why are they acting so weird? This is supposed to be a fun time.
I slept most of the way home.
At home I decided I had given my siblings enough greef, and to not go on the internet while they were playing W.O.W. (which required a considerable amount of self restraint.) instead, I worked on my project LOST: The "Clean Cut" Edition. Eventally Rachel offers to watch LOST with me in the living room. WHich I thought would be way fun. I pick out one of my favorite episodes that I think she might like because it's semi-romantic and involves my favorite character. after a while she comes out and we watch... throughtout the episode I pause it to explain what is happening because she just can't go with the flow and let the story tell her what's ahappening. (because in lost, the episode usually tells you enough to see what's going on) anyway My older brother comes in toward the end and starts watching. He has no idea the context of the story because he missed the first three quarters. So after the episode is over my older sister says what she always says about this show "It's too hard to understand."
I felt like saying "OF COURSE it was too hard to understand, you are WATCHING the MIDDLE of the SECOND season of a SERIAL DRAMA, You can't expect to understand every aspect of the show. And guess what you don't NEED to understand because eventually you will see a flashback that explains everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-entire-episode. i would even go as so far as to say that you SHOULDN'T understand it because then Lost would be a boring 'plain-crash-suriver-with--paranormal-activity' Story, which it isn't it's a Serial Drama and it's a GREAT Serial Drama."
Fortunately, instead of saying this I start to say something like: "it was good." and then I was going to contineue saying WHY I thought it was good( WHICH BY THE WAY IS BECAUSE IT SHOWS HURLEY AS A CHRACTER OF DEPTH INSTEAD OF JUST COMIC RELEF) when I am rudley interupted by my older brother who says "it wasn't, it was dumb."
Seriously , I lost all will to communicate right there. It was obious that he wouldn't care about my reasoning as to why I liked it. Although I would do that for his interests. For example...Even though I hate robots,I did ask them what the robot show was like and that kind of sparked my curoiosity in this robot that my siblings were apperently intersted in. I don't have an interest in playing W.O.W, infact i think it's kind of a districtive activity, but I do ask them about what's going on in the game and I like to learn about all the interesting things they can do while playing it.
I guess this particular event got to me so much because it is remenicient of my whole life. Every time I try to contribute something, or ANYTHING, to a discussion at church or work, I feel like my hand gets nipped at. My opinion never counts. So, I called him a rude name and walked out.
I guess I kind of regret that now.
I guess my interest in LOST isn't something I'll be able to share with my family. It king of sucks because I think it's really interesting and I see my own flaws in some of the characters, and I think they could enjoy that same kind of thing.
P.(M).S
I'm Sorry about the bad grammar and profanity, i'm Just so mad right now. I know that's not a good excuse but it's the only one I can think of right now.
maybe this will help me cool down.....
Today was a very annoyng day. First I had a doctor's appointment. Which went fine (i guess) then I thought we (me and a few of my syblings) would have a fun time going to disneyland. problem was, every time I tried to do something I thought was fun, My older brother and sister went kind of crazy. And I'm thinkin' "gee, maybe disneland wasn't the best place to go for their kind of fun."
So we went on a few rides and to the innoventions center where we looked at some pretty interesting technology stuff. But after a while I got separated from them and my cell phone battery went dead. After walking around a couple of times, looking for my siblings, I thought I'd go to the exit to see if I could find them. I couldn't.
So I felt very stranded, I went to a payphone and made a call to my parent's house to ask if they could call my sister's cell to find out where she was. I paid 1.55 for the call and 1.99 for using my debit card, ghads!! So I start taking on the answering machine and NO ONE ANSWERES!!!
SHIT
"Come on guy's I only got three minutes for this call."
It' doesn't work
So I make ANOTHER call
Bear in mind, I have no idea where my siblings are. For all I know I will be sitting by the innoventions exit till the park closes and I have to ask a cast member to "help my find my family" >:(
This time I call my mother's cell phone, and as I dial, I remember that she is working tonight
SHIT
Remarkably she answeres the phone
I start talking
She doesn't respond...She can't even hear what I'm saying!!!!
After repeating "hello, Is anyone there?" a few times, she hangs up. Not knowing that I am practicly screaming "YES MOM IT'S ME I CAN HEAR YOU. PLEEEASSSSSE" But to no avail
I'm despret now, I am not going to spend my time at disneyland next to a payphone.
So I try a different payphone and call mom again.
FINALY we are able to talk. I tell her my predicament and she helps.
Well, I'm glad that's over. Except, It isn't over. I still have to wait to see IF my siblings show up to collect me. I see them comming down from the innoventions center door. They were in there the whole time!!! Where the heck were they??
So I'm guessing they were pretty annoyed with me or else weren't paying attention because my two older siblings bearly even looked at me and didn't talk to me.
WHAT the freakn' heck is wrong with them? Why are they acting like MINDLESS ZOMBIES today??
We eventally went to see the parade, which turned out to be fun. Sarah and I got some candy from the store and we got to eat some (well sarah did, I wated till I got home)
As we left disneyland, my older sister reminds me and my little sister to bequiet around other people. thanx mom
What it's not like were trying to have fun or anything. Please, I have to work tomorrow, can't I have a day off to do something wild and crazy?? No, I guess not.
Why are they acting so weird? This is supposed to be a fun time.
I slept most of the way home.
At home I decided I had given my siblings enough greef, and to not go on the internet while they were playing W.O.W. (which required a considerable amount of self restraint.) instead, I worked on my project LOST: The "Clean Cut" Edition. Eventally Rachel offers to watch LOST with me in the living room. WHich I thought would be way fun. I pick out one of my favorite episodes that I think she might like because it's semi-romantic and involves my favorite character. after a while she comes out and we watch... throughtout the episode I pause it to explain what is happening because she just can't go with the flow and let the story tell her what's ahappening. (because in lost, the episode usually tells you enough to see what's going on) anyway My older brother comes in toward the end and starts watching. He has no idea the context of the story because he missed the first three quarters. So after the episode is over my older sister says what she always says about this show "It's too hard to understand."
I felt like saying "OF COURSE it was too hard to understand, you are WATCHING the MIDDLE of the SECOND season of a SERIAL DRAMA, You can't expect to understand every aspect of the show. And guess what you don't NEED to understand because eventually you will see a flashback that explains everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-entire-episode. i would even go as so far as to say that you SHOULDN'T understand it because then Lost would be a boring 'plain-crash-suriver-with--paranormal-activity' Story, which it isn't it's a Serial Drama and it's a GREAT Serial Drama."
Fortunately, instead of saying this I start to say something like: "it was good." and then I was going to contineue saying WHY I thought it was good( WHICH BY THE WAY IS BECAUSE IT SHOWS HURLEY AS A CHRACTER OF DEPTH INSTEAD OF JUST COMIC RELEF) when I am rudley interupted by my older brother who says "it wasn't, it was dumb."
Seriously , I lost all will to communicate right there. It was obious that he wouldn't care about my reasoning as to why I liked it. Although I would do that for his interests. For example...Even though I hate robots,I did ask them what the robot show was like and that kind of sparked my curoiosity in this robot that my siblings were apperently intersted in. I don't have an interest in playing W.O.W, infact i think it's kind of a districtive activity, but I do ask them about what's going on in the game and I like to learn about all the interesting things they can do while playing it.
I guess this particular event got to me so much because it is remenicient of my whole life. Every time I try to contribute something, or ANYTHING, to a discussion at church or work, I feel like my hand gets nipped at. My opinion never counts. So, I called him a rude name and walked out.
I guess I kind of regret that now.
I guess my interest in LOST isn't something I'll be able to share with my family. It king of sucks because I think it's really interesting and I see my own flaws in some of the characters, and I think they could enjoy that same kind of thing.
P.(M).S
I'm Sorry about the bad grammar and profanity, i'm Just so mad right now. I know that's not a good excuse but it's the only one I can think of right now.
maybe this will help me cool down.....
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