Diabetes and Dialysis

I work at a nursing home and when someone gets sick I am responsible for sending them out to the hospital.

Once after sending someone out, the LVN and I were working on paperwork and the CNA asked:
"Why are so many Dialysis people diabetic?" (If you don't know, dialysis is a procedure that filters waste from the blood by any number of methods...areustillreadingthis?ok.itsabouttogetlessboringipromise...the most common being directly from the blood through an artificial shunt or catheter. People often get sick after undergoing dialysis because the filtering process takes out so many chemicals from the blood and their body can't handle it.)

"Well, you know, that's what causes renal failure."

"What?"

"Yeah, those big sugar globules in your blood? They get caught in the renal tubules, in your kidneys, and make it so your urine can't filter out of your blood."

On thing I should probably add: this co worker admitted to me that she has been a diabetic since she was a child and has never sought treatment or lived a "diabetic lifestyle".

She didn't say anything, but the look on her face told me that this was the first she'd ever heard of such a thing. People have a tenancy to dismiss chronic illness when they don't feel symptoms. They say stuff like, "Its not a big deal for me", and "You only live once", but they never think of that when they really come to terms with their own mortality.

(I'm going to have to edit myself here because I could really go into specifics...but it would take too long.)

I didn't tell my co worker the rest of the pathophys. That high glucose levels damage every capillary bed in your body...your brain, your heart, your fingertips causing vascular disease and tissue death.

What we did talk about (a little bit, it was kind of a crazy night): that diabetes today is a very manageable illness. Because it is fairly common, it's been studied extensively. There are tons of alternatives that make living a lifestyle in which a diabetic person can keep their glucose levels under control much easier.  And that is what prevents massively dehabilitated state I see a lot of people in.

I don't want to be the one to go around "YOU WILL DIE A TERRIBLE DEATH IF YOU DO SUCH AND SUCH!" (Well, actually, I kind of would, but people don't respond to that very well. ;D ) but it's amazing how powerful, and applicable, a simple fact can be to the person who doesn't know it yet.

It was kind of nice because the next day, she showed up to work with a whole wheat sandwich, with lots of romaine lettuce!  Made me feel real good.

Please Know This....

If I talk like the Lizard People are real...

(It's because they are)

If it annoys you...

(too bad)

Stress

Stress Sucks. Big time. It makes your heart feel like it's beating really fast and you can't concentrate on anything. People say stress is a motivator, but that must be a completely different kind of stress then what I have. It's like my mind is trying to process information and every time something is about to make sense it shuts down, gets interrupted.

 This stupid feeling gets in the way of everything I ever wanted to do or accomplish with my life. I used to have goals and aspirations, now I just want to cover up what I'm feeling with "Stuff-to-do". Apparently keeping busy (according to some friends of mine) is supposed to make you feel better. In my opinion, its like some prescription medications: it covers up the symptoms while the disease gets worse.

 One well meaning individual told me to "Find a passion." The problem: 1) I HAD A PASSION! Stress takes away the enjoyment I got out of it. 2) I have no motivation or drive to find a new one. When I go out, I really want to have a good time, but it's hard because underneath I still feel IT.

 When I think about all the stuff I used to want to do, that I don't want to anymore, I my stomach gets in knots. It makes life very rigid and inflexible. People keep telling me: "Oh, You are just stressed because of _______. Once that is taken care, of you will get better." I really don't think they know what they are talking about, or they are lying through their teeth.

 It also really burns when people tell me to "Just fix it" because if it were that simple I would have found a way to do this years ago. It's a pretty persistent thought/behavior pattern, and it hasn't been relieved by the stuff people said was causing it.

 I've been relying on the advice/experience of other people too much. I need to remember that they aren't me and no matter how much they care (or say they do) they don't live my life and can't understand. This is something I've gotten myself into because I listened to what other people said was "good for me." Instead of listening to my own instincts and figuring it out on my own.

 At this point, the only thing I know for sure is that, now that I have recognized it for what it is, my life needs to change...and soon. Until I make the changes, I can't expect to feel any better.

My first set of appliances:

Awkward moments....

Awkward moments are like the punctuation in the sentences of my life. They are so prevalent that I have come to expect/anticipate them in nearly every situation I encounter. They used to really bother me because I didn't understand why they occurred.

At one time, I knew a lady who was in her mid-forties, married with teenage kids who found out she was pregnant with another child.

Pregnancy is a touchy subject, and every man and woman approaches it with a different attitude.

I don't like making assumptions about ambiguous information, and body language says a lot about how someone is feeling. If someone says "I'm pregnant!" and has a radiant smile on her/his face, then I would say "congratulations!" because they've already told you...without having to say anything...how they felt about it. If someone says "I'm pregnant" with a straight face, they are probably early in the pregnancy and/or are ambivalent about it.

I did something that is pretty characteristic for me: I asked her how she felt about the news...Not in a confrontational way, I just said something like "Wow, that's got to be a big change in your life."

This is called an open-ended question. It allows people to collect their thoughts and express themselves the way they want to as opposed to 'bating' someone to give a certain response.

She told me that although it was unexpected, she viewed it as a blessing from God. After she was done talking I congratulated her. Then she gave me a hug, which I wasn't expecting but I returned it.

Afterward there was a silence for a moment, then she asked me, "Was that awkward for you." I told her the truth; that it had caught me off-guard. NEVER TELL THAT TO A PREGNANT WOMAN!
I wish I wasn't so blunt, but I am. No tact at all!

She started bawling and I was all like "Aww... don't cry!” I tried to explain that it wasn't her fault "Hugs are good!", but that just made it worse...

That's when I started becoming aware of the abundance of awkward moments in my life.

There are misunderstandings in life, people are different (me) and don't react the way you might expect (me).

I didn't think of the hug as awkward, but she obviously did. This instance made me be more cognizant of my body language and how I interact with others.

But it also kind of helped me look at people in a new way. Because even though people are different, all want the same things (unless you have a severe personality disorder); to feel understood, respected, and loved.
I try to feel for what they mean instead of just hear what they say.

NANO thoughts

I'm taking part in National Novel Writting Month and I find myself falling into the same trap I did last year...

I came up with a story and a character that I really like then in the course of the month I invent another character who is so zany and outragious I want two write that character instead!

Last year my story was a sci-fi mystery/thriller about a girl named Rebecca Wong and how the Lizard People are out to get her. I invented a character named Alejandro Sanchez to be the main villian/lizard person and he was just such a two-faced diabolical character I suddenly found I wanted to write the story from his perspective so I could show how he really gets what's comming to him.

Fortunately I was able to resist and the book is still about Rebecca. This year however, I started telling an Alejandro story and the same thing happened. A while ago I wrote a poem about about and person named "Morbid Thotts" (I am so creative with character names! Jk) And while the poem is nothing special, I came to really love this almost comically negative character.

It was really cool to come up with a backstory for this character and explain why he is the way he is. I actually almost cried when I wrote one part of it.

This fake person is such a gem! I know I can't keep this character as negative as he is forever so I wrote him as a love-interest for Garnet!

(Spoilers: Yes she does actually die in last years book, but don't worry she's a Lizard person so it will all work out) Yay for odd couples!

How to Enjoy a Movie You Don't Like

I really liked the movie Thor. So when the statement "Thor will return in The Avengers" popped up at the end of the credits I was thinking "Oh, cool. Now I have to see all of those other superhero movies to find out who the avengers are." I like superheroes, so I thought I'd enjoy the other "Avenger-prequel" movies.

Not so...

Greatfully, I did not buy the movie "Iron Man", I rented it. I found that the main character is witty and funny and a smart aleck. However, every funny thing he says in the movie is underscored by the thought "Wow, I really don't like this guy, he is not a nice guy."

Oddly enough, IRON MAN basically has the same plot as Thor but, in my opinion, it has poorer acting/directing and poorer character development.

Tony Stark (Iron Man) should have been having this transformational journey, but I just couldn't feel for him because they never showed any real substance to him. It's like all the material was there; the father issues, the traumatic hostage situation, the death of his friend, and his resolve to live a better life...but when he says "I shouldn't be alive, unless it was for a reason." I don't buy it. Maybe it's just supposed to convey the type of man he is; the kind who doesn't express or understand true emotion well, but I don't feel they presented this idea well either.

SO....

While my sisters and I were watching this movie that we didn't really like we noticed something interesting:

One of the characters is named "Obadiah"
...........................................
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?????


IT MEANS HE WAS NAMED AFTER A VEGGITALES CHARACTER!!!!

We started shouting out Veggitale lines at every plot twist...including:
"Obadiah Bumbly"
and
"Oh, Brother, Obadiah, thou art so...up tight. Prethee, let the brotheren playeth a little checkers."

Eventually we likened most of the main cast with his/her veggie counterpart here is what we came up with

'Tony Stark vs. Larry the Cucumber.'
Both have big egos and BIGGER alter egos. They dress up in suits as superheroes.

'Agent Coleson vs Bob the Tomato'
Both seem intelligent are not taken seriously. Bob is a bit more of a character, but they both are trying to keep control under difficult circumstances and don't get much respect. We haven't seen a whole lot of Agent Coleson as a person yet (I hope we do). But honestly, I could see Agent Coleson's full name being "Robert Coleson".

'Pepper Potts vs. Petunia Rhubarb'
I noticed their voices are pretty similar and both are kind. But Petunia actually has a backbone (metaphorically speaking), while Pepper's heart and will belong to a guy who doesn't respect her.

Obadiah Stane vs Mr. Nezzer
Both are cuddly, old villans and slightly insane.
Stan Lee vs Pa Grape
I just saw the Stan Lee cameo and thought of him saying: "And for this I missed taco night?"

This made the movie much more enjoyable.

Bottom line: Veggietales characters are funnier and have more substance then some live action characters.