A Very Austen Valentine's: Sense and Sensibility

Sense and Sensibility is about the Dashwood sisters, Elinor and Marianne (but mostly Elinor), and how they make a living for themselves after their dad dies and (Inheritance laws in the 1700's being what they were...) they get evicted from his house.

Surprisingly, a man does not come along and save the day and Elinor has to wear the balls in the family and find them a place to live. She finds a pair of eccentric third-degree relatives who take pity on them and kind of take them in.

Their neighbor-relatives are actually really kind, well intentioned people. They're just really colorful and they try to play matchmaker and set up the girls with their wealthy bachelor-friends.

But at first, Elinor and Marianne are just NOT feeling it. Elinor is still nursing feelings for this guy who she kind of had to leave behind when they moved, and she can't really talk about it (or acknowledge her feelings) because they were never, like, together together, they were just hanging out. And Marianne keeps getting shipped with this military guy who's twice her age.

(That's nice...as in a Mr Tilney type "Nice")

Needlessly to say, they don't think their friends' shenanigans are super fun, but they can't really say much about it because they are letting them live in one of their houses and they kinda really need a place to stay. So they just kind of sit there and tolerate it...

Until Willoughby shows up

I wish there were better gifs available for the moment when Marianne meet's Willoughby, but it goes something like this:

(OK maybe not that last one, but you get the idea...)

Needless to say, Marianne quickly becomes VERY interested in potential courtship situation.

I'm not going to talk at length about Marianne or Elinor's other pairings, but I would like to talk a bit more about Willoughby.

(*Warning: potential spoilers ahead*)

What I find interesting about Willoughby is that he's basically what we'd think a potential guy-friend should be, today. He's charming, chivalrous, and affectionate. He's wealthy, he buys her expensive gifts, and he likes all the same books and music she does. They really hit it off: like in an annoying we-finish-each-others-sentences way. They have chemistry and they spend every free moment together.

Unlike the rest of Austen's Rogues, Jane never tries to explain John Willoughby away as being a false man, or being insincere in his affections. When they're together, he genuinely feels the same gooey-gushy feelings that Marianne does, and when they part he goes through the same gut-wrenching heartbreak.


(Mormonhippie Wispers: But that doesn't stop him from being a douchebag!)


It's interesting to me that it isn't really even his past indiscretions that kept them apart: when Brandon sees how in love he is with Marianne, he's willing to give him the benefit of a doubt.


(A 'Well, maybe he's changed.' kind of thing...)


Ultimately what kept him and Marianne apart was that when it came down to Love vs. Money, Money Won.

Which brings us to two more of Jane Austen's most difficult Life Lessons:

Love doth not conquer all

and

Love doth not fix your character flaws

There are a LOT of things you look at when you contemplate a life-long partnership with someone, affection is only one of those things. And it's important to practice discretion on who you let into your life, and the type of feelings you cultivate for them.

John Willoughby may have had genuine feelings and connection towards Marianne, but he didn't use them to make him a better person. In the end he's still the same selfish, conceited, egotistic person he was before:

In the end, he still can't be happy for Marianne when she finally finds happiness, and even though he is wealthy, he still won't take care of his kid.



Bonus:

It occurred to me when writing this that Marianne and John Willoughby are still going to be neighbors, and that their kids with their respective spouses are going to grow up together.

That's going to be super awkward!

"Hey, Mom. I found these old love letters from when you were dating Da....IS THIS MR WILLOUGHBY'S HANDWRITING?! Did you used to DATE him? EWW!!"