The Return of the Jedi Doesn't (?) Stink

I've been putting this post off for a while. Partly because I've been focusing on work, but also because I want to work on the "Doesn't Suck" series in reverse-chronology and I realized how much I kinda don't like The Return of the Jedi. I mean, I've always known it was my least favorite of the original sequel trilogy, but now I'm thinking it might be my least favorite installment of the franchise to date.

What it does well: An incredibly heart-wrenching conclusion to Darth Vader's story-arc, particularly in relation to Luke. 

What it does bad: Literally everything else.

Really though, the whole plot is rehashed content to serve as placeholder until Luke can finally get to Vader again and offer him redemption. Every other character, relationship, and conflict in the story gets sidelined.

(Even the actual "Star War" between the Rebellion and the Empire.)


Luke shows up as our resident "Badass Jedi" ™ because the plot requires him to be one, with no explanation as to how he got that way.

Lando Calrissian? (You know, that guy who was the head of this whole colony/organization and had this awesome cyborg sidekick and henchmen galore?)
....He becomes just another face to do stuff the main characters can't do because they're off playing with teddy bears.

"This deal's getting worse all the time!"

Even the resolution to Han Solo's cliffhanger feels off...like it even belong in the same story: like it's just a plot point the story has to get over with so it can get on to more pertinent things.

(Which I suppose from a storytelling perspective it actually is.)

And let's not even get started on this guy....

Most disappointingly, the suggestion that there is 'Another New Hope' that is moot NEVER becomes a significant part of the story.

 (Even though, it totally could have.)

I'm sorry to be so negative, but it's all I can think of when I contemplate the end of the original trilogy. 

Leia was kinda cheated out of her own heroic arc. 

I've also realized that in some ways, the newest movie makes it worse. Because even if they don't show the resolution to all of these stories, you can kind of imagine how it went in your own mind. Leia might have gone on to become a powerful Jedi. She might have had her own journey/spiritual awakening and ended up helping her brother restart the Jedi order. Luke could have been a teacher to new Jedi initiates, and she an administrator and organizer: head of the new Jedi Council. And together they would have brought in a new golden age of enlightenment and spirituality for the galaxy. 

But now that's ruined...in two planes of un-reality! 

One thing I do appreciate is that the costume department was able to finally give Leia an outfit that makes her look like a boss.

(You were thinking of the metal bikini weren't you? :P )

And now for another of Mormonhippie's Star Wars Theories:

I can't believe it took me so long to realize that Bail Organa (Leia's dad) wasn't just sending her on a random errand to recruit Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was sending her so that she could be trained as a Jedi, learn her about her heritage, and be reunited with her brother. (And, obviously, they would take down the empire together)

But Ben Kenobi had other plans:

From his perspective, Anakin should have never become a Jedi at all. Old Ben blames himself because he couldn't tame Anakin's personality.


And which of Anakin's children inherited his temperament?

There we have it! Leia was not "Chosen" to become "A New Hope" because Obi-Wan thought she was too much like her father.