Scary Story Autumn Advent Calendar: Day -1

Hello and welcome to my virtual Haunted Mansion:

Please Press Play:

Now Read in your best Ghost Host Voice:

"When hinges creak in doorless chambers

and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls

whenever candle lights flicker...

and the air is dealthly still...

That is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight,

***

Welcome, Foolish Mortals...

To The Haunted Mansion

I am your host...Your "Ghost Host"

Kindly step all the way in, please. And make room for everyone...

There's no turning back now!

***

Our tour begins here, in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.

***

Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. 

Hmm?

And consider this dismaying observation: 

This chamber has no windows, and no doors.

Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!

Of course...there's always...

My way...

Oh! I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely; the real chills come later.

Now...as they say...look alive! and we'll continue our little tour.

And lets all stay together, please!

***

There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here from creepy old crypts all over the world.

Actually, we have nine-hundred and ninety-nine happy haunts here...

but there's room for a thousand...

Any volunteers?

If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer!

***

The carriage that will carry you into the moldering sanctum of the spirit world will accommodate you and one or two loved ones. Kindly watch your step as you board, please.

We spirits haunt our best in gloomy darkness, so remember, no flash pictures, please.

***

DO NOT PULL DOWN ON the safety bar, please. 

I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. 

***

We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. 

Shh...Listen!

All our ghosts have been dying to meet you...

This one can hardly contain himself...

("Let me out! Let me outta here!)

Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through. 

Perhaps Madam Leota can establish contact. She has  a remarkable head for materializing the disembodied

The Happy Haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize...

They're assembling for a Swinging Wake, and they'll be expecting me.

I'll see you all a little later...

Ah! There you are, and just in time! 

There's a little matter I forgot to mention:

BE-ware of Hitchhiking Ghosts! They have selected you to fill our quota, and they'll haunt you until you return.

Now I will raise the safety bar..and a ghost will follow you home!

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAA!

Bonus: What the Ghost Host could have sounded like:

(Also, Originally a One-Eyed cat was going to feature prominently in the ride, apparently.)